With the 2023 season behind us, we begin our off-season with 1-on-1 meetings with every player to discuss their reflections on the season, seniors’ plans for the future as well as off-season and next-season expectations for those expecting to return next fall.
The meetings revealed a common thread of communication from many underclassmen when asked why their production on the field was minimal in the first half of the season but maximal in the latter: “I lacked confidence in the beginning,” was the most common refrain….
In my 35 years of coaching, I have never heard such an epidemic proportion of a lack of confidence…
In recent years, I have had concerns that student-athletes are overconfident due to so many (helicopter or snowplow) parents telling them how wonderful they are every time they accomplish a minor task. (Growing up in an era where everyone gets a trophy…) Perhaps I need to reevaluate how I distribute praise to players to make them feel more confident going into the 2024, season.
In a recent “Knowledge Project” podcast episode, Shane Parrish, the host is speaking with a guest about resilience, and in particular, parenting for resilience. In doing so the conversation turns to how parents (or coaches) characterize a child through feedback. Telling a boy or girl they are “so smart,” “so brilliant,” or “so talented.” Has the potential to sew seeds of overconfidence, and set children up for a shock when confronted with the reality of being “relatively average.” (Remember, on a planet with nearly 8 Billion people, a child who is truly “one in a million,” has 8,000 more kids out there, just like him/her)
Rather than overcredit some attribute like intelligence, talent, or athletic ability, parents (and teachers or coaches) are much more likely to breed resilience with comments like, “You’re such a hard worker,” “You don’t quit when things get tough,” or “Others may have given up, but not you,” has the potential to instill confidence in a child’s ability to overcome adversity rather than unfounded belief in what may ultimately prove to be less than pure excellence in talent.
To Quote Mahatma Gandhi, “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
I continue to believe in the potential for football to help inoculate student-athletes and teams against adversity, loss, and fear. Nonetheless, as coaches, we have the responsibility to set the conditions for a player’s and a team’s resilience, and ultimately success on and off the field.
Coach Rich Alercio is available to discuss coaching philosophy, X’s & O’s, or teach his O-Line “techniques in the trenches.” Contact Coach at richalercio@gmail.com and share http://www.olineskills.com with your colleagues and friends. Thanks for supporting this blog and joining our conversations, and as always, thanks for your time!
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