“Be demanding, not demeaning” is a reminder of the difference between pushing others to meet high expectations versus belittling them. Being demanding is about setting clear standards, pushing for excellence, and motivating others to rise to the challenge. On the other hand, being demeaning involves undermining someone’s self-worth.
During halftime of a recent road game, a member of the school’s chain gang commented to me that he loved the way I coached our team. He went on to say that he liked how I get on the players then followed by saying the coaches at his school are not allowed to yell at players.
In some environments, such as sports, yelling can be used to rally people, motivate teams, or instill a sense of urgency. Coaches raise their voices to energize groups and individuals fostering enthusiasm and reinforcing performance.
It’s important to note that Coaches often push student-athletes beyond their perceived limits. There’s an old Tom Landry (Dallas Cowboys Coach & Hall of Famer) quote, “Coaches make players do more than they think they can in practice, so they can achieve more than anyone thought possible in games.”
The concept of being demanding not demeaning encourages leaders, teachers, and individuals in any position of authority to push for success while maintaining dignity and respect for those around them. One of the most powerful things a former coach ever said to me was, “If I seem to hold you to a higher standard, it’s because I believe so much in your talent and potential.” Decade after decade, I’ve tried to incorporate such sentiments and we’ve been rewarded for setting and holding high standards.
As we have discussed in previous posts, there are significant generational differences between the way my coaches were coached, the way I was coached, and the way I’ve coached my student-athletes over the last 35 years. Sometimes as coaches, we wonder when or if we have gone too far and may have crossed a line, and then you get an unsolicited text from a player like the one I received earlier this week:
I feel confident I speak for most coaches when I say we’re here to help build teams, win games, and develop quality student-athletes who will one day be the leaders of our communities. When we hear feedback directly or secondhand that our efforts and investments in others have helped them become even just a little bit better as players, teammates, or friends, our concerns fall away and satisfaction (and a little pride) can’t help but bring gratitude for the opportunity.
Coach Rich Alercio is available to discuss coaching philosophy, X’s & O’s, or teach his O-Line “techniques in the trenches.” Contact Coach at richalercio@gmail.com and share http://www.olineskills.com with your colleagues and friends. Thanks for supporting this blog and joining our conversations, and as always, thanks for your time!
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